“We move on pilgrimage, which is both moving with God and toward God, trusting God on a path that is mysterious and unknown in advance. The mystery of the path means that we need to stay alert, for the Holy One may appear at any time, and at any place. There is not any “no-God’s land” along the way. It is all God’s land, every step of the way.” (Living In His Presence)
How is your faith walk today?
One of my favorite scenes in a movie is from A Knights Tale. William is squabbling with 2 friends, on a road, as to whose turn it is to ride on the horse. The next thing you know a strange but intriguing character begins walking down the same road. The new character is completely naked. William (Heath Ledger’s character) looks at the man and is completely dumbfounded by him. The dialogue proceeds like this:
Chaucer – “Morning”
William – “Why sir…..what are you doing?”
Chaucer – “Uh…Trudging…You know trudging. To Trudge. To trudge…the slow weary depressing yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in his life except the impulse to simply soldier on.”
William – “Where you robbed?”
Chaucer – “Interesting question actually yes and at the same time a huge resounding no. Its more like an involuntary vow of poverty really. But you know on the brighter side trudging does represent pride, resolve and and faith in the good Lord Almighty.. Please Christ (said with pain and desperation) rescue me from my current tribu-(as he steps on a thorn)-lations.”
There are times in life when trudging is all we can do. The events of life seem to have beaten us down and stripped us naked of all of our joy. Some of those events are from our own making and many are beyond anything we could have influenced or prepared ourselves for.
It is in these times our humanity and frailty seem never more real. Amidst the broken dreams, joys shattered by hurt and pain, wounds incurred by the hands of others and the loss of loved ones, sacred words rise up from the ground, like dust from a foot step. “I will be with you always, even to the ends of the age.”
But these words promise only one thing…a journeyman to walk with you. These words do not take away the hurt and pain, the broken dreams or bring back life. They offer a presence to walk with. Not just one set of footprints but two.
“I will be with you….”
In the lonely face of mourning…our partner mourns with us.
In the broken dreams…our journeyman is sifting through the shattered pieces on the ground.
In the wounds of life…our friend is present in silent love
In the trudging…the I AM is with us.
I know sometimes, the reality seems like God is not there. It seems like the promise was all a lie. We feel betrayed, forsaken and alone. Only those who have trudged know the reality of those statements. Only those who have trudged can witness to the darkness that is indwelling in those feelings.
It is in that trudged step, many live. The only reality is the reality of the step just taken. The one step that took all of their strength and emotional energy to lift the foot up, move it forward and push it down.
I cannot promise life will be immensely better in the next step. I cannot promise with each step “trudging” gets easier. Amidst the nakedness, hurt and frailty of our lives…the I AM will be with you.
The countdown has begun. In just a few days I will be leaving everything I know for a country I never would have dreamed that God would call me to.
Uganda here I come. God is doing some amazing things in Africa right now. Uganda is a place that has been torn with violence, war and poverty. And also disease. A new string of Ebola has appeared recently. The CDC is currently testing people.
My group will be traveling to west Uganda. Fort Portal to be exact. We will be having a country wide youth rally the first week. The second week we will be traveling to village churches to encourage and be with them. The third week we will spend in Fort Portal walking with church there.
I am excited and can’t wait to see what God will do through us. I hope to come back with many stories to tell and many more souls to hold dear to my heart. Pray for me and my family while I am gone.
May the peace of God be with you always.
The water was choppy. The clouds were being driven by an invisible force that could only be felt. As I sat in a small plastic kayak, my arms growing tired of constantly fighting the battering waves. The waves, the current and the deepness of the water all constantly battering my confidence. Sure, I have my protective gear on, but the recent memory of flipping my kayak over lays heavy on my confidence.
I am not nearly as confident on water as I am on land. I am an okay swimmer but definately not going to win any olympic medals (not even in dog paddling). Then it happened. The silent force pushing the clouds had finally driven most out of sight. What was choppy water battering my kayak, settled down and the waves became placid. I stopped to enjoy this serene moment. I close my eyes and my soul drifts into the presence of God.
My soul is experiencing joy and sadness in these sacred moments. The presence of God was like the water I was resting upon. It was everywhere. It was cool and refreshing full of life. My soul was rejoicing that God was everywhere. There was no where that God’s presence wasn’t. No where! I could paddle north and God was there. I could paddle south and God was there. I could paddle east and west and. . .you get the picture. . .God was there. How comforting that was! Not just knowing that but being able to rest in it. Oh what a joyful moment!
It was also sad. As I relished the comfort of being in God’s presence, a sadness washes over. If God was the water I was resting upon, I am only getting to experience a very small depth. The Puget Sound has an average depth of 450 feet. My kayak is only inches deep. There is a richness and depth to God that I will probably never get to experience, no matter how much I desire. It started to bring tears to my eyes (and still does as I write this 2 1/2 months later). God is so much more than I will ever know. As much as I am in love with God, there are experiences I will never have with Him. There are parts of our relationship that I will never get to explore. Oh how deep He is.
I love to dwell in and on that sacred moment when eternity broke through time. I still find much joy in living in the presence of God. I still experience much sadness knowing God is so much more than I will ever have the priviledge to know. I shed tears and smile all at the same time.
But my soul rests in knowing no matter how deep I get or how far out in the water I go–being in the water is enough.
