“We move on pilgrimage, which is both moving with God and toward God, trusting God on a path that is mysterious and unknown in advance. The mystery of the path means that we need to stay alert, for the Holy One may appear at any time, and at any place. There is not any “no-God’s land” along the way. It is all God’s land, every step of the way.” (Living In His Presence)
How is your faith walk today?
One of my favorite scenes in a movie is from A Knights Tale. William is squabbling with 2 friends, on a road, as to whose turn it is to ride on the horse. The next thing you know a strange but intriguing character begins walking down the same road. The new character is completely naked. William (Heath Ledger’s character) looks at the man and is completely dumbfounded by him. The dialogue proceeds like this:
Chaucer – “Morning”
William – “Why sir…..what are you doing?”
Chaucer – “Uh…Trudging…You know trudging. To Trudge. To trudge…the slow weary depressing yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in his life except the impulse to simply soldier on.”
William – “Where you robbed?”
Chaucer – “Interesting question actually yes and at the same time a huge resounding no. Its more like an involuntary vow of poverty really. But you know on the brighter side trudging does represent pride, resolve and and faith in the good Lord Almighty.. Please Christ (said with pain and desperation) rescue me from my current tribu-(as he steps on a thorn)-lations.”
There are times in life when trudging is all we can do. The events of life seem to have beaten us down and stripped us naked of all of our joy. Some of those events are from our own making and many are beyond anything we could have influenced or prepared ourselves for.
It is in these times our humanity and frailty seem never more real. Amidst the broken dreams, joys shattered by hurt and pain, wounds incurred by the hands of others and the loss of loved ones, sacred words rise up from the ground, like dust from a foot step. “I will be with you always, even to the ends of the age.”
But these words promise only one thing…a journeyman to walk with you. These words do not take away the hurt and pain, the broken dreams or bring back life. They offer a presence to walk with. Not just one set of footprints but two.
“I will be with you….”
In the lonely face of mourning…our partner mourns with us.
In the broken dreams…our journeyman is sifting through the shattered pieces on the ground.
In the wounds of life…our friend is present in silent love
In the trudging…the I AM is with us.
I know sometimes, the reality seems like God is not there. It seems like the promise was all a lie. We feel betrayed, forsaken and alone. Only those who have trudged know the reality of those statements. Only those who have trudged can witness to the darkness that is indwelling in those feelings.
It is in that trudged step, many live. The only reality is the reality of the step just taken. The one step that took all of their strength and emotional energy to lift the foot up, move it forward and push it down.
I cannot promise life will be immensely better in the next step. I cannot promise with each step “trudging” gets easier. Amidst the nakedness, hurt and frailty of our lives…the I AM will be with you.
Alone with none but thee, my God,
I journey on my way;
What need I fear if thou art near,
O King of night and day?
More safe I am within thy hand,
Than if a host did round me stand.
I pray these encourage you to realize the ever present God is with you today. Journey in confidence and peace.
Rereading one of my all time favorite books (The Road of Life: Reflections on Searching and Longing by David Adam).
“If you feel that God is far off, remember feelings are liars. ‘In him we live and move and have our being.’ You are in the presence of God no matter where you are. You are in the heart of God and God seeks to dwell in your heart…You belong to God and in a wonderful way, God belongs to you.”
Take comfort and hope today that God is nearer to you than you realize.
Playing at the Air Field
There is a Hasidic tale that goes like this:
“A disciple asks the rebbe, ‘Why does Torah tell us to “place these words upon our hearts”? Why does it not tell us to place these holy words in our hearts?’ The rebbe answers, “It is because as we are, our hearts are closed, and we cannot place the holy words in our hearts. So we place them on top of our hearts. And there they stay until, one day, the hearts breaks and the words fall in.”
This is an interesting Hasidic tale. At the initial reading of it, I find myself relating to the questioner (the disciple). Often times in a disciples life we want to rush the Words of Life into our hearts (even when we are not ready to handle or understand the truth). We have a developed zealousness that never seems to be patient and wait upon the Lord. We strive to understand all. And in understanding all (as we tend to think more highly of ourselves than we ought), we believe we need to teach all. And in teaching all, we develop strategies of discipleship for others when in all actuality we struggle to be discipled ourselves. The prestige of being a teacher/rabbi, one who is sought for advice and answers, can overwhelm the fragile words that sit upon our heart waiting for that moment when our heart finally breaks and the words sink in.
Discipleship is not for the faint of heart or those seeking prestige or money or fame or… Discipleship is long, slow and arduous. It is painful many of the times. It hurts when the heart breaks and the Words of Life sink in. It takes time learning to follow the heart and footsteps of Jesus.
I found this never more true then in Uganda. I was told, some time back, by someone who has been a missionary in Uganda, that if a missionary could disciple just 5 people, he/she would have made a world of difference. 5!
As I ventured into Uganda, I found that discipleship is extremely tough. When centuries and millennia have passed and evil (greed, abuse, witchcraft, demon possession) has been so incorporated into the culture, trying to follow Jesus let alone teach others to follow Jesus is truly counter-cultural. The steps of faith are taken with care and discernment. They are not taken lightly. Each step of a disciple echos throughout the past and into the future and resonates the song of life–the song of God. All the while, the centuries of evil try to regain each step that was lost. And many times succeed because people are unwilling to give themselves over completely to God. They harbor deceit or greed or lust for power/authority/influence.
Discipleship…not for the faint of heart in Uganda. Not for those people seeking instant success or money. Discipleship requires the Words of Life to sink in only when the heart breaks. And that takes time, patience and the Spirit of God.
Jeff, Cheryl, Andrew, Aimee Jo, Doug, Destiny, Charity, Isaac, Clea and all those who are (or have been) missionaries in Uganda keep taking each step of faith and keep on the long road of discipling. You efforts are not in vain (even when they seem like it). The Spirit of God is making a difference through you. Never forget that!
“The giving of God that populates our past and the reliability of God that marks our future makes life in the present different.”
- Walter Brueggemann
We stand at the foot of the mountains-the Rwenzori Mountains to be exact. Our past journeys have been full of companions that have walked with us and us with them. We hear the echos of the faith of those that our journey has intersected. Echos that whisper ever so softly into our ears and hearts words of love. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind…love your neighbor as yourself.” Words of mercy and compassion. “What does God require of you: but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.” Words of questing and adventure. “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness…” And words of life. “In him was life, and the life was the light of men.”
We stand at the base of the mountains and we know these voices will always be with us. The panoramic view before us is breathtaking and inspiring but also daunting and unknown. Do we step forward into a land and into a people whose culture we know very little about?
What we have experienced has deconstructed most everything we have learned in our western (American, modern, industrialized, church, etc.) culture. We have encountered a culture which does not have a moral foundation. BUT, they hold respect as a cultural must. They value peace/harmony above conflict. They value community above individuality. The last one (in my estimate) being the most important. Everything is done in and for the sake of the community, whether that be your immediate family or your tribe. Individuality is not valued. Coming from a culture which idolizes our individuality (even in our theology), this has been an eye opening experience. Let me give you an example. When we are sick in our western culture, what happens? Most likely we will stay home. We do not want anybody to visit us, we just want to be alone and let our bodies work through the illness. In the Ugandan culture (particularly the Batooro culture), when someone is sick, it is expected for people to drop by and visit. If a person does not then he/she is seen as not valuing the community or friendship. If the sick person refuses the visit then they are seen as not valuing the community or friendship. So when someone is sick, expect visitors to drop by and express their concern and love for you. Quite the opposite to what I am accustomed too.
Another example would be the concept of time. In our western culture, we value being on time to appointments and meetings. I can’t count the many conversations I have been a part of discussing how people do not value something because they do not seem to show up “on time”.
Time is money…
Time is precious…
Time is important…
We have our days scheduled (over scheduled most of the time). We get frustrated driving on I-5 because the traffic will make us late for whatever. (I know because I have done it many times.) Our lives revolve around time.
Here in Uganda, time is not valued. The event is valued over time. Two Sundays ago, “church” is supposed to start at 10 AM. We started at 11 AM because that is when most everyone showed up. So instead of ending at noon, we ended about 1:30 PM. Now to a westerner, how ANNOYING would this be? Extremely! But let us challenge the priority of time. Say we started the worship service at 10 AM like we were supposed to. We would have been worshipping with ourselves. What does that communicate? Time is more important than people. Is that really the message of Jesus? One might even ask some of the Ugandans where they were and why they were not “on time”. Their response may be that they were greeting someone on the road. Again, in a culture that values community, do you berate the Ugandan for not being committed or question their devotion to God because they are late? I think the Apostle Paul would say something along the lines of “BY NO MEANS!” The Ugandan was acting appropriately in the culture–he/she was valuing the community by greeting the person on the road.
But let us not deceive ourselves. Uganda is not a bastion of holiness. The evil in the culture is so real, you can almost reach your hand out and touch it. Witchcraft is rampant. Deceit is valued. Selfishness is cherished. Greed runs rampant. The list could go on.
Let me tell you a story. A few days back a Ugandan man was doing something (nobody knows quite sure what) on Lake Saaka. For those that have been here, that is the lake that almost completely surrounds Camp Saaka (where Faith Quest is held). He drowned. His body wasn’t found for 3 days. Here is where the story gets intriguing. Lake Saaka and the land where Camp Saaka is is said to be the place where the Bachwezi spirits are supposed to live. Tradition says that the people would sacrifice a life each year to please the spirits or the spirits would take a life. The death was perceived that the spirits took the life of this man (who is rumored to an excellent swimmer) for this year. As you can see, the deception of the Deceiver is strong. He has had a strangle hold on the culture for many centuries. This is a land that calls evil a trusted friend.
The view from the base of the mountains is breathtaking and inspiring but also daunting and unknown. We stand at the base looking up, not because of the terrain but because we know only God can lead us in the direction of the future–a future that may possibly mean new companions. Our present is different because of our past (including our limited experience in Uganda) and future. We view things differently. So we stand at the base, in the present, waiting…
