The water was choppy. The clouds were being driven by an invisible force that could only be felt. As I sat in a small plastic kayak, my arms growing tired of constantly fighting the battering waves. The waves, the current and the deepness of the water all constantly battering my confidence. Sure, I have my protective gear on, but the recent memory of flipping my kayak over lays heavy on my confidence.
I am not nearly as confident on water as I am on land. I am an okay swimmer but definately not going to win any olympic medals (not even in dog paddling). Then it happened. The silent force pushing the clouds had finally driven most out of sight. What was choppy water battering my kayak, settled down and the waves became placid. I stopped to enjoy this serene moment. I close my eyes and my soul drifts into the presence of God.
My soul is experiencing joy and sadness in these sacred moments. The presence of God was like the water I was resting upon. It was everywhere. It was cool and refreshing full of life. My soul was rejoicing that God was everywhere. There was no where that God’s presence wasn’t. No where! I could paddle north and God was there. I could paddle south and God was there. I could paddle east and west and. . .you get the picture. . .God was there. How comforting that was! Not just knowing that but being able to rest in it. Oh what a joyful moment!
It was also sad. As I relished the comfort of being in God’s presence, a sadness washes over. If God was the water I was resting upon, I am only getting to experience a very small depth. The Puget Sound has an average depth of 450 feet. My kayak is only inches deep. There is a richness and depth to God that I will probably never get to experience, no matter how much I desire. It started to bring tears to my eyes (and still does as I write this 2 1/2 months later). God is so much more than I will ever know. As much as I am in love with God, there are experiences I will never have with Him. There are parts of our relationship that I will never get to explore. Oh how deep He is.
I love to dwell in and on that sacred moment when eternity broke through time. I still find much joy in living in the presence of God. I still experience much sadness knowing God is so much more than I will ever have the priviledge to know. I shed tears and smile all at the same time.
But my soul rests in knowing no matter how deep I get or how far out in the water I go–being in the water is enough.
